The Problem IS Real, The Pain IS Real

When new clients are first referred to Chronic Hope Counseling I can often feel skepticism in their voices; anxiety in every nervous shift in their bodies. Frequently, clients have had chronic illnesses and pain for years. They have been to more doctors than they can count, there have been tears, invalidations, numerous failed treatments, and trauma, and now they find themselves talking to a mental health specialist and they're feeling unsure. But their pain is real, it’s not in their head, their problem is physical, not mental, so why are they here? I can feel those questions building in their throats.

As a Chronic Illness Sufferer, I Can Relate

So I sit down across from my flustered client and even through my computer I can feel an apprehensive energy. I introduce myself and immediately assure them that I believe their pain and illness are real, I myself struggle with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) and I am an open book if they ever have any questions about my experience with EDS, chronic illness, or anything else. I feel the energy shift as my new client’s defenses begin to fall. 

We Are Used to Having to Validate Our Pain

 As Spoonies we are used to having to convince people our pain is real and that we always have our figurative fists up ready to fight (we might have our actual fists up if we weren't so tired!). Let me assure you everyone at Chronic Hope will always believe in your chronic pain and chronic illness, if it hurts you mentally or physically we believe you and want to help you with it.

Chronic Hope is a Safe Place For All Spoonies to Come and Heal.

We’re a unique specialty, when we first opened we spent a long time explaining to doctors and other practices what we did because not many people understood what specific chronic pain/illness counseling was. So, what is it?

Pain vs Suffering

Pain: unpleasant bodily sensation or complex sensations that cause mild to severe physical discomfort.

Suffering: a negative emotion commonly associated with physical pain. Can commonly increase the perception of physical pain.

Pain is something that is familiar to a lot of us.

For me, when the pain gets to be bad I curl up with my dogs, order take out and turn on Disney+. I can’t ignore the pain often gets worse, but I have learned there is true power in taking control of how I confront, think about, and process my pain experience.

There are two different types of pain, primary pain, and secondary pain.

Primary pain:

First, is physical pain that occurs in your body, it’s the physical damage, the broken bone, the pulled muscle. Then there’s secondary pain.

Secondary pain:

Secondly, is the emotional pain that often comes along with long-term/chronic pain. Secondary pain is suffering. This is what we address in counseling. Often we find that when we address and begin to process the secondary pain/suffering the primary pain is positively affected too. We can’t deny it, the mind and body are wildly intertwined.

Pain and Suffering Are Two Completely Different Sensations

Imagine experiencing a hard pain day but being able to feel yourself in a neutral or even a somewhat positive mood. Seems completely implausible, right? It’s natural for pain and suffering to go hand in hand. It’s human nature for negative emotions to go along with a negative physical experience. But here’s something really cool that makes a significant difference in how you live in your painful body, pain, and suffering are two completely different sensations! With patience, counseling, and guidance we separate pain and suffering and make it so you can experience pain, but have the suffering significantly diminished.

Therapy Options For Addressing Pain and Suffering

Mindfulness and/or Meditation:

Learning to separate pain and suffering is a continuous practice. I know that all counselors tell you to practice meditation and mindfulness. It’s pretty much the free space in counselor BINGO. While it is a good practice for everyone it’s practically essential for people dealing with pain. Naturally, when we feel the pain we tend to physically and mentally recoil and reach for a distraction. While distractions can be helpful at the moment, in the long term it doesn’t process the emotions or help you cope.

Learn to Recognize Your Cycle of Pain and Emotions

Learning to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into your life will help you learn to sit with your pain in a calm place, recognize your pain’s fluidity and begin to recognize and process emotions. Mindfulness and meditation may not look like what you think at first glance. You can practice mindfulness while listening to your favorite song, or meditate while taking a walk. We can help you find ways to incorporate these in your life in ways that often already fit into your routines.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):

CBT focuses a lot on recognizing your self-talk, identifying unproductive thoughts and thought patterns then spending time making them more helpful to your life. I find a lot of us dealing with chronic pain often have two inner voices, the “normal one” to ourselves, then a second one where we’re talking to our pain “go away” “I hate you” “why are you doing this to me?” etc… For those of us who have these two inner voices, CBT is even more essential. What is going on in your head affects every part of your life, let’s use that power for good.

Living Beyond Pain and Suffering

These are just two of the many ways we can start separating pain from suffering. Suffering is different for everybody and figuring out how to help an individual with their suffering is so personalized. Each intake session we spend time with our new clients getting to know them, their story, and their goals and develop a customized plan on how to help them learn to live beyond their pain and suffering. 

Begin Chronic Pain Counseling in Raleigh, NC

Dealing with chronic pain can be a lonely and challenging journey full of ups and downs. Oftentimes people who experience chronic pain feel isolated and alone, but you are not alone! At Chronic Hope Counseling our skilled team of therapists has first-hand knowledge and personal understanding of chronic pain and all the trials that accompany it. We want to support and guide you on your journey to understanding and living with chronic pain in a nonjudgmental and caring environment. Follow the steps below to get started on the road to living your best life.

• Get to know our team of caring therapists.

• Book an appointment on our convenient contact form.

• Begin your journey to emotional well-being.

Other Counseling Services Offered at Chronic Hope Counseling in North Carolina

In addition to Chronic Pain Counseling, we also offer a variety of other services that are geared toward people who exist within the world of chronic illness and pain. These include Chronic Illness Counseling, Chronic Fatigue Counseling, Long Covid Counseling, Ehlers Danlos Counseling, Family and Relationship Counseling as well as Caregiver Counseling and Support. If you are hurting, we see you and care. Reach out to us today!