Spoon Theory and the Therapeutic Process
by Kristy Bastone-Baker, LCMHCA, NCC, C-AAIS, MEd, MA, RYT-20
What is Spoon Theory?
Spoon Theory was created by Christine Miserandino as a way to demonstrate what it's like to live with chronic illness.
Christine and her friend were sitting in a diner when Christine's friend asked her what it was like to live with lupus. In response, Christine looked around and grabbed as many spoons as she could, which was 12. She handed her friend the spoons and said, "Here you go, you have Lupus!"
Each Spoon Represents a Unit of Energy
Christine then explained that the spoons represented units of energy. Each task during the day would cost a spoon. Getting out of bed, brushing teeth, showering, getting dressed with swollen joints, etc. each cost a spoon. Skipping a meal would cost a spoon as well. Once out of spoons, there was no energy left for anything else for that day.
Chronic Illness Limits Your Number of Spoons
Christine asserted that "the difference between being sick and being healthy is having to make choices, or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn't have to." Most healthy people start their day with an infinite number of spoons, which represent the energy and possibility to do whatever they desire that day. They generally don't have to be concerned about the effects of their choices. On the other hand, those suffering from chronic pain and illness have to ration their spoons and decide how, where, and when to spend their time and energy. This is why Spoon Theory is so effective. It gives us a tangible way to depict this struggle.
Here is a 13-minute video of Christine herself describing the Spoon Theory. It is well worth the watch if you have the time and energy.
Spoonies
Spoon Theory has become shorthand in the chronic pain and illness community. (Like, "aw man, this party is definitely costing me at least two spoons right now.") Members of the chronic pain/illness community who ascribe to this theory are affectionately known as Spoonies.
Spoon Theory in the Therapeutic Process
Learning about Spoon Theory can be an empowering experience. When my clients first hear about Spoon Theory, they often shed tears and express that they feel seen.
Why is this experience so powerful? Why is the acknowledgment of our struggle so validating?
Perhaps it is because of society's values telling us to become increasingly more productive. Maybe it's our parents or family members calling us "lazy." Or the grief that comes along with not being able to do it all. Or the pressure to have it all together.
At the very least, Spoon Theory tells us that we are not alone as we grapple with the tasks of daily living. There are others out there who also have to ration their energy and decide how to spend their time.
Chronic Hope Counseling Understands
The therapists at Chronic Hope understand this all too well. We are all either struggling with chronic illness and pain, or have a family member who does (most of us have both). We also offer a free, weekly online support group as well as a caregiver support group.
Additionally, our sister nonprofit, Chronic Hope Cares, provides support, advocacy, connection, and resources to fellow Spoonies.
In Chronic Illness Counseling, we can work on setting boundaries, communicating with others, choosing how to spend our spoons, and finding ways to increase our daily spoon count. Or none of these. Maybe you just want someone to listen. That's okay too. :)
To all of our fellow Spoonies out there. We see you. You are enough.
Begin Chronic Illness Counseling in Raleigh, NC
Chronic Illness can suck the joy and care out of life. Oftentimes people who experience chronic illness feel like a burden and misunderstood, but you are not alone! At Chronic Hope Counseling our skilled team of therapists has first-hand knowledge and personal understanding of chronic illness and all the trials that accompany it. We want to support and guide you on your journey to understanding and living with chronic illness in a nonjudgmental and caring environment. Follow the steps below to get started on the road to living your best life.
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Other Counseling Services Offered at Chronic Hope Counseling in North Carolina
In addition to Chronic Illness Counseling, we also offer a variety of other services that are geared toward people who exist within the world of chronic illness and pain. These include Chronic Pain Counseling, Chronic Fatigue Counseling, Long Covid Counseling, Ehlers Danlos Counseling, Family and Relationship Counseling as well as Caregiver Counseling and Support. If you are hurting, we see you and care. Reach out to us today!